Sunday, May 17, 2015

Mother's Day II

Mother's Day was quite uneventful this year, which when reflecting on last year, is probably a good thing.  The day was low key -- Chris made us breakfast and gave me a great card and I went to church alone because William's nap ran late. Chris and William met me after church and we joined some friends for burritos.

That afternoon we drove to Oakland to visit some friends for dinner. They always make such amazing dinners and it was pure coincidence that it happened to be Mother's Day -- but I took it as a gift not to have to cook! We had grilled fish and asparagus. Yum!

And that is about it.

Oh, and William gave me his first real squeeze-my-middle-hug the day before. That hug completely melted my heart.

This year, I have seen my little boy grow and grow-- now walking, and learning words. He's understanding how things work and how to express himself a little better. I love seeing him make these connections. I've caught myself just watching him play, in awe that he is mine. I often search his face, trying to figure out who he is or who he will grow to be, that is my treasure to unwrap as the years go by.

I've also seen my own limitations and weaknesses . . . fleshy, sin make appearances. How quickly I lose my temper or take my work-stress out on him (and vice versa). I've seen how my attitude affects his (and vice versa). I've learned that if I don't get a break from this sweet face once in awhile, I'm not the mother I want to be. And that saddens me--makes me feel like I'm not good enough or cut out for this motherhood role. 

I have realized that on my own strength, I have very little to offer my son. I need to be connected to the well-spring of life. To my Creator God, Savior Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I was reminded this past weekend of the dedication service where they prayed over me specifically. I need to keep being in prayer. It's not a one time thing. Just like motherhood -- it's a lifetime thing.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Discovery Bay Museum

The Bay Area is full of great activities for kids, including little toddlers! I've been a bit shy about venturing out and checking them out, not for lack of interest or desire, but because very few things are free and convenient. (William still naps twice a day and I'm still working.)

But two weeks ago, Chris and I took William to the Discovery Bay Museum north of the Golden Gate Bridge. We were planning to go and I mentioned it to a friend and she says, "Did you get the Groupon for that?" Um, no . . . but I will now! I love my deal-savvy friends!

I really didn't know what to expect or how to best plan our time there, but I think William had a blast anyway. Everything is very hands on. They even have a room just for toddlers 42" and under (which is nice since everyone over 42" seems to trample my son).

The highlights for William were:

a stream/water table with plastic fish and frogs

bouncy-pond with stuffed animal ducks



and bubbles. Bubbles are always a highlight.

We really didn't get to stay long before he was getting tired (and probably over stimulated). I have another coupon ready for next time and I'm excited to try it again!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Four days without Da-da

William and I spent the last four days without "Da-da."

Every morning, he woke up looking for Da-da . . . in the bed, in the kitchen (those are the only places he could be). Finally he would look up at a picture on the wall and exclaim, "Da-da!" and smile. The first morning there were tears and we looked at all of the pictures of Da-da I have. We had to look at them often throughout the day. I didn't know if he would survive the weekend.

On Saturday, I had a couple of friends watch him so I could do a photo shoot. He handled that just fine although cried when they left. We went to the park later that afternoon and I noticed that he gravitated toward other dads at the park, even calling out "Da-da." I've heard of this before so I just said, "Yes, that is that little boy's daddy," and left it at that.

I had read a blog post about a mom who made her weekend without her husband special for her kids. They made brownies together and had a special mommy-me time. It was sweet. But in all honesty, every waking moment is mommy-me time for William. I'm always here. Its always us (okay, not always, but that is how I felt about it at the moment). But I decided to try it anyway. We made a fort, which he loved. We baked banana bread, which he liked making but refused to eat. I put a pizza in the oven to try to save my sanity and he took a couple of bites, but only of the crust. In the end, we had fun, but it was exhausting and not as fruitful as I would have hoped.

I did try to keep the apartment cleaned up a bit and do my normal chores, but some things had to wait. Without the support of my husband to help corral the boy and get things done I was exhausted by the end of day two. But I had already invited some girlfriends over so I just kept going -- vacuuming, cleaning, and combing my hair.

On Sunday, we went to church after the morning nap, keeping with our normal routine. I was glad to be in church and so glad William likes being in the nursery . . . even when he's the only one there. And afterwards we came home, had lunch and played for a bit before nap. But as is William's way, when momma needs a nap, that is the time he refuses to go to sleep. (btw, he woke up at 4:50 a.m. that morning. . .)

I tried snuggling with him for a few minutes, which was sweet and he laid still for 4 seconds. Then I downed a coke and we went to the park.

My goal for Sunday was to get to bed by 9 p.m. and it happened! I had to be ready for Monday, which was going to be much of the same as any other Monday except I wouldn't have help in the morning as I am accustomed to. Chris does a lot in the mornings before he leaves for work: preps my lunch/snack, occupies William so I can shower, read, or work, makes breakfast and cleans up afterwards.

Monday was fine, but I think that was only because I could count down the hours until Chris came home. Seriously, if he wasn't coming home that very evening, I don't think we would have survived. I was burnt out. I had saved our grocery run for that morning after I went into work, I just could not bring myself to do it on the weekend. William loves sitting in the shopping cart, so other than having to buy a few extra things (because he sticks them in his mouth) it goes well. It's the unloading the car, unpacking the groceries and putting everything away with toddler help that wiped me out. (Fun side note: William stacked all the cans on top of each other while I wasn't looking!)

Overall, the long weekend went as well as I could have hoped for. I knew I would be exhausted by the end of it, but I kept reminding myself that this was an important trip for Chris (visiting friends in NYC -- the trip has been postponed twice in two years).

When William woke up on Tuesday morning and saw Da-da was home, he could not have been happier, although he did look a little shocked at first.