Middle School Advice

I was at a school tour this evening (in San Francisco, every family tours 7-20 schools before their child turns 5 . . . ). At the end of the tour, they had a panel of teachers, parents and the principal available to answer questions. A question arose about the transition from elementary school to middle school (when you have to start touring schools again . . .) and one of the teacher's responses is something I thought was genius and just so wonderful I wanted to write it down in hopes I won't forget it when William is 11.

I'm paraphrasing of course, but she said:

Middle school is hard. The kids are at the age where they don't want to talk to their parents, their slamming doors and then a second later they are crying and telling you everything. You'll need to find a school that fits well with the interests of your own child (her son played the sax and really wanted to be in a jazz band so they found a school that had one). But the most important thing to your child at that age is her/his friends. The best thing you can do get to know the parents of those friends and aim to get them into the same school together. Your kids will start to hold back in what they share with you, so you'll want to be on talking-terms with their friend's parents. 

I had never really considered that before. I mean, community is totally one of my top priorities for my own life but I hadn't really thought about it for my boys as they get older. And if we do stay in the city where the population ebbs and flows but mostly goes up and up, having a core group of friends to walk through life with (walk through the valley of the shadows of death middle school with) should also be a value I have for my children.

So, note to self, build up some quality parent-parent and kid-kid relationships in these next 6 years so that we want to go to the same school and then pray we both get in (because it's a lottery).

Unrelated to middle school, I ran into a mom on this tour who was in my birthing class! I haven't seen her since our babies were itty-bitty and now they are getting ready for transitional kindergarten! So crazy.

I was at a school tour this evening (in San Francisco, every family tours 7-20 schools before their child turns 5 . . . ). At the end of the tour, they had a panel of teachers, parents and the principal available to answer questions. A question arose about the transition from elementary school to middle school (when you have to start touring schools again . . .) and one of the teacher's responses is something I thought was genius and just so wonderful I wanted to write it down in hopes I won't forget it when William is 11.

I'm paraphrasing of course, but she said:

Middle school is hard. The kids are at the age where they don't want to talk to their parents, their slamming doors and then a second later they are crying and telling you everything. You'll need to find a school that fits well with the interests of your own child (her son played the sax and really wanted to be in a jazz band so they found a school that had one). But the most important thing to your child at that age is her/his friends. The best thing you can do get to know the parents of those friends and aim to get them into the same school together. Your kids will start to hold back in what they share with you, so you'll want to be on talking-terms with their friend's parents. 

I had never really considered that before. I mean, community is totally one of my top priorities for my own life but I hadn't really thought about it for my boys as they get older. And if we do stay in the city where the population ebbs and flows but mostly goes up and up, having a core group of friends to walk through life with (walk through the valley of the shadows of death middle school with) should also be a value I have for my children.

So, note to self, build up some quality parent-parent and kid-kid relationships in these next 6 years so that we want to go to the same school and then pray we both get in (because it's a lottery).

Unrelated to middle school, I ran into a mom on this tour who was in my birthing class! I haven't seen her since our babies were itty-bitty and now they are getting ready for transitional kindergarten! So crazy.