March Madness

I don't really know why March felt so disjointed for me. I don't usually find an entire month to be a challenge to get through, but this one was. There was one event that I wasn't especially excited about (for myself, I was excited for Chris) which was his six day vacation with his men's group. It sounded like a big adventure and a lot of fun - camping in the Mojave dessert, Death Valley, seeing Joshua Tree and the Red Rocks. I held down the fort with the boys and kept up with our routines as much as possible. It all went fine and we all survived, it was a long week and I was a little anxious about it before it started. I remembered a friend of mine saying that when her husband traveled, she didn't do a countdown because it made the days go so slow, I took her advice and tried to make each day it's own and plan something active/fun and it helped a lot.

But there were also two unexpected funerals to attend. The first was my Aunt Carol's who passed away in mid-February. Her service was in Minneapolis on March 2. Chris stayed home with the boys so I could attend and focus on being with my family which I really appreciated and needed. I was gone a total of 4 days. I was so glad to go but it wasn't an easy time.

The second was Chris's grandfather, Beryl Babiak. He passed away on March 23 and Chris flew to Oklahoma on March 28 to be with his family for the funeral. He was away for just one night (two full days). I'm thankful he was able to go and sad that we hadn't been able to make it to OK for a visit prior to his passing.

In the middle of it all was a treat: Chris's mom came to visit us for 4 days! One-on-one time with Mom B. is always treasured but this weekend turned out to be a busy one and I felt a little more preoccupied than I would have normally. Focusing on my activities instead of getting to focus on her visit was hard, but required. The boys still got to spend some great time with her and she even got to witness William's swimming lesson which was fun.

So, needless to say, March was busy. I think the really hard part for me comes when Chris and I don't get our normal weeknights together. Typically we have dinner together every night and we spend a majority of our evening playing games, watching TV, reading or working in a shared space. This month we had 11 evenings where we were both home and available. Every Wednesday we have a small group that gathers at our home so although we are together and it's awesome, I can't say we were "together" if that makes any sense. All the other days of the month someone was traveling! That's just crazy for our family--for our marriage.

And if you are familiar with stepping away from your routines for any length of time, you know that coming home and jumping right back in is really hard; I know that Chris really struggled this month with feeling behind in a lot of areas . . . mostly my "Honey-Do List." He must be exhausted! And I felt more lonely and a little more depressed with the separation.

As for the boys, they struggled too. William's pre-K class schedule was sort of crazy this month -- one session ended and a new one began with a break in between and then a week later was Spring Break for the school district so he was off again. They both missed dad a ton -- especially his second trip for the funeral. They realized what it meant for him to fly away and it was so soon after he returned from his camping trip.

I'm relieved March is over. It was a hard month emotionally and it took it's toll on our relationships. I'm hopeful that April -- beginning with Resurrection Sunday -- will be much brighter, happier and include a few more date nights.

How do you cope when your spouse travels? What are your challenges?

I don't really know why March felt so disjointed for me. I don't usually find an entire month to be a challenge to get through, but this one was. There was one event that I wasn't especially excited about (for myself, I was excited for Chris) which was his six day vacation with his men's group. It sounded like a big adventure and a lot of fun - camping in the Mojave dessert, Death Valley, seeing Joshua Tree and the Red Rocks. I held down the fort with the boys and kept up with our routines as much as possible. It all went fine and we all survived, it was a long week and I was a little anxious about it before it started. I remembered a friend of mine saying that when her husband traveled, she didn't do a countdown because it made the days go so slow, I took her advice and tried to make each day it's own and plan something active/fun and it helped a lot.

But there were also two unexpected funerals to attend. The first was my Aunt Carol's who passed away in mid-February. Her service was in Minneapolis on March 2. Chris stayed home with the boys so I could attend and focus on being with my family which I really appreciated and needed. I was gone a total of 4 days. I was so glad to go but it wasn't an easy time.

The second was Chris's grandfather, Beryl Babiak. He passed away on March 23 and Chris flew to Oklahoma on March 28 to be with his family for the funeral. He was away for just one night (two full days). I'm thankful he was able to go and sad that we hadn't been able to make it to OK for a visit prior to his passing.

In the middle of it all was a treat: Chris's mom came to visit us for 4 days! One-on-one time with Mom B. is always treasured but this weekend turned out to be a busy one and I felt a little more preoccupied than I would have normally. Focusing on my activities instead of getting to focus on her visit was hard, but required. The boys still got to spend some great time with her and she even got to witness William's swimming lesson which was fun.

So, needless to say, March was busy. I think the really hard part for me comes when Chris and I don't get our normal weeknights together. Typically we have dinner together every night and we spend a majority of our evening playing games, watching TV, reading or working in a shared space. This month we had 11 evenings where we were both home and available. Every Wednesday we have a small group that gathers at our home so although we are together and it's awesome, I can't say we were "together" if that makes any sense. All the other days of the month someone was traveling! That's just crazy for our family--for our marriage.

And if you are familiar with stepping away from your routines for any length of time, you know that coming home and jumping right back in is really hard; I know that Chris really struggled this month with feeling behind in a lot of areas . . . mostly my "Honey-Do List." He must be exhausted! And I felt more lonely and a little more depressed with the separation.

As for the boys, they struggled too. William's pre-K class schedule was sort of crazy this month -- one session ended and a new one began with a break in between and then a week later was Spring Break for the school district so he was off again. They both missed dad a ton -- especially his second trip for the funeral. They realized what it meant for him to fly away and it was so soon after he returned from his camping trip.

I'm relieved March is over. It was a hard month emotionally and it took it's toll on our relationships. I'm hopeful that April -- beginning with Resurrection Sunday -- will be much brighter, happier and include a few more date nights.

How do you cope when your spouse travels? What are your challenges?