My Thankful Heart

We stood in a circle holding hands. We were about to say grace for our Thanksgiving meal when the host, my Aunt Patsy, asked us each to share what we are thankful for this year.

Chris and I have been to Aunt Patsy's home quite a few times this year—one of Chris's several relatives that live in California. She and her husband have blessed us with that 'family feeling' over many holidays where we were not able to travel to Minnesota or Texas. Last Thanksgiving, her home was filled with family members, most of whom I was meeting for the first time.  This year, her Thanksgiving feast was a smaller gathering shared with friends, neighbors, her parents, and us. No matter how big the party, she ad her husband are gifted in making one feel at home and loved.

As I stood in that circle, looking at Patsy, I was struck by how blessed I really am. My mind flashed back to a year ago when we were unemployed and on the verge of homelessness; I didn't know anyone, much less my husband's distant relatives. And now, we have work, we have a beautiful apartment, and so many wonderful relationships. I thought, "Lord, you have answered our every prayer, you have provided for our every need (and then some)! You are truly amazing. Thank you."

I am so thankful for my family—no matter how far down the family tree they are. I am so thankful to be getting to know my husband's side of the family this year. I love that his third cousins are more like aunts to us than "distant relatives." And I can't wait for Christmas, when we'll be seeing my family again!

I am so thankful for all I have and all those I hold in my heart. May the Lord bless you richly as you wait on Him!

We stood in a circle holding hands. We were about to say grace for our Thanksgiving meal when the host, my Aunt Patsy, asked us each to share what we are thankful for this year.

Chris and I have been to Aunt Patsy's home quite a few times this year—one of Chris's several relatives that live in California. She and her husband have blessed us with that 'family feeling' over many holidays where we were not able to travel to Minnesota or Texas. Last Thanksgiving, her home was filled with family members, most of whom I was meeting for the first time.  This year, her Thanksgiving feast was a smaller gathering shared with friends, neighbors, her parents, and us. No matter how big the party, she ad her husband are gifted in making one feel at home and loved.

As I stood in that circle, looking at Patsy, I was struck by how blessed I really am. My mind flashed back to a year ago when we were unemployed and on the verge of homelessness; I didn't know anyone, much less my husband's distant relatives. And now, we have work, we have a beautiful apartment, and so many wonderful relationships. I thought, "Lord, you have answered our every prayer, you have provided for our every need (and then some)! You are truly amazing. Thank you."

I am so thankful for my family—no matter how far down the family tree they are. I am so thankful to be getting to know my husband's side of the family this year. I love that his third cousins are more like aunts to us than "distant relatives." And I can't wait for Christmas, when we'll be seeing my family again!

I am so thankful for all I have and all those I hold in my heart. May the Lord bless you richly as you wait on Him!

Community

No, not the TV show—although Chris and I do enjoy watching that one.  The concept of belonging to or having relationship with a group of people is what I want to talk about tonight. Chris and I heard someone mention that the most common unmet need in San Francisco (and possibly globally) is community. In a place were there are roughly a million people I wonder how can that be true?

And yet, it is true for me. I'm not saying I'm completely alone and have nowhere to belong. I belong to a wonderful church and small group, which does offer a great source of community and relationship.  I also have some really great colleagues at work. But I want more. Not really more friends, but deeper relationships. Granted, I've only been in the city for five months and it's bound to take a lot longer than that to build solid friendships. All I'm saying is that I understand the longing for community.

I wonder what people who don't go to church do to find friends. In all honesty, I don't even know where to look other than church. Do I join a gym or take a class to find people who might have one shared interest with me? Do I go to the bar? Do I sit down next to a complete stranger at a coffee shop and start making conversation? Seriously, how do people get connected with others and experience real community in real life?

I have been in a "Christian-bubble" for so long, I don't even know how to make friends normally. Ugh! In High School, I didn't really have a choice, there were 17 students, so naturally they were my friends. Our town was small, so you just did what everyone else did and you had instant community. It was easy in college—people had similar classes and majors so finding common interests was a no-brainer. You also had organizations and clubs at your finger tips so finding a group to belong to was stress free. And the cafeteria was perfect for meeting people! Most of my friends from college were actually strangers to me until I sat down next to them for lunch (a few I seen previously from a class or something).

So what makes "real life" so much different—so much harder? I wonder if as we've gotten older, we're more reserved in what we share with others, which leaves our conversations lacking any real meaning.  I wonder if we stop making time for other people because there is just too much going on in "my world" right now. Or, maybe we're fearful of someone really knowing us?!? The surface looks good and clean but digging deeper reveals hurts, weaknesses, regrets, and sins making us unlovable and rejected.

What is it that makes people bond and become friends?

These are just my thoughts from today—spurred on by an idea of building a different and stronger community. I'd love to hear your thoughts about what community is and how you find or create it! 

No, not the TV show—although Chris and I do enjoy watching that one.  The concept of belonging to or having relationship with a group of people is what I want to talk about tonight. Chris and I heard someone mention that the most common unmet need in San Francisco (and possibly globally) is community. In a place were there are roughly a million people I wonder how can that be true?

And yet, it is true for me. I'm not saying I'm completely alone and have nowhere to belong. I belong to a wonderful church and small group, which does offer a great source of community and relationship.  I also have some really great colleagues at work. But I want more. Not really more friends, but deeper relationships. Granted, I've only been in the city for five months and it's bound to take a lot longer than that to build solid friendships. All I'm saying is that I understand the longing for community.

I wonder what people who don't go to church do to find friends. In all honesty, I don't even know where to look other than church. Do I join a gym or take a class to find people who might have one shared interest with me? Do I go to the bar? Do I sit down next to a complete stranger at a coffee shop and start making conversation? Seriously, how do people get connected with others and experience real community in real life?

I have been in a "Christian-bubble" for so long, I don't even know how to make friends normally. Ugh! In High School, I didn't really have a choice, there were 17 students, so naturally they were my friends. Our town was small, so you just did what everyone else did and you had instant community. It was easy in college—people had similar classes and majors so finding common interests was a no-brainer. You also had organizations and clubs at your finger tips so finding a group to belong to was stress free. And the cafeteria was perfect for meeting people! Most of my friends from college were actually strangers to me until I sat down next to them for lunch (a few I seen previously from a class or something).

So what makes "real life" so much different—so much harder? I wonder if as we've gotten older, we're more reserved in what we share with others, which leaves our conversations lacking any real meaning.  I wonder if we stop making time for other people because there is just too much going on in "my world" right now. Or, maybe we're fearful of someone really knowing us?!? The surface looks good and clean but digging deeper reveals hurts, weaknesses, regrets, and sins making us unlovable and rejected.

What is it that makes people bond and become friends?

These are just my thoughts from today—spurred on by an idea of building a different and stronger community. I'd love to hear your thoughts about what community is and how you find or create it! 

Help! I'm Stuck!

I think about writing to you almost everyday.  I love writing to you—updating you on my thoughts and sharing with you how God has led us to where we are.  But the past few weeks I just can't think of anything new to tell you. Routine and normalcy have entered my life and to honest I don't know how I feel about that.

There is something energizing and exciting about not feeling settled. Yes, its extremely frightening most of the time. For the better part of this past year I have felt uneasy, anxious, and uncertain about where my life was going or what I was suppose to be doing in San Francisco (or even if San Francisco was where I was suppose to be). And during that period I know I didn't like it. But now . . . I'm bored.

And I hate to put it that way, but today, thats how I feel.  Now, you may be asking, "Emily, isn't it impossible to be bored in a city like SF?" That's not what I mean. I love this city. I don't think I could ever grow tired of all there is to see and do. I'm bored because I don't know what I'm suppose to be putting my time and effort towards or trusting God for next.

So, maybe "bored" isn't the right word after all . . . "stuck" might work better (at least for today). I'm waiting for the Lord to direct my steps again and lead me to the next part of this journey. I feel like crying out, "Ok, Lord, I'm here, now what!?" But in the back of my mind, I'm scared of what He might say!

I think about writing to you almost everyday.  I love writing to you—updating you on my thoughts and sharing with you how God has led us to where we are.  But the past few weeks I just can't think of anything new to tell you. Routine and normalcy have entered my life and to honest I don't know how I feel about that.

There is something energizing and exciting about not feeling settled. Yes, its extremely frightening most of the time. For the better part of this past year I have felt uneasy, anxious, and uncertain about where my life was going or what I was suppose to be doing in San Francisco (or even if San Francisco was where I was suppose to be). And during that period I know I didn't like it. But now . . . I'm bored.

And I hate to put it that way, but today, thats how I feel.  Now, you may be asking, "Emily, isn't it impossible to be bored in a city like SF?" That's not what I mean. I love this city. I don't think I could ever grow tired of all there is to see and do. I'm bored because I don't know what I'm suppose to be putting my time and effort towards or trusting God for next.

So, maybe "bored" isn't the right word after all . . . "stuck" might work better (at least for today). I'm waiting for the Lord to direct my steps again and lead me to the next part of this journey. I feel like crying out, "Ok, Lord, I'm here, now what!?" But in the back of my mind, I'm scared of what He might say!