Saturday, November 6, 2010

Help! I'm Stuck!

I think about writing to you almost everyday.  I love writing to you—updating you on my thoughts and sharing with you how God has led us to where we are.  But the past few weeks I just can't think of anything new to tell you. Routine and normalcy have entered my life and to honest I don't know how I feel about that.

There is something energizing and exciting about not feeling settled. Yes, its extremely frightening most of the time. For the better part of this past year I have felt uneasy, anxious, and uncertain about where my life was going or what I was suppose to be doing in San Francisco (or even if San Francisco was where I was suppose to be). And during that period I know I didn't like it. But now . . . I'm bored.

And I hate to put it that way, but today, thats how I feel.  Now, you may be asking, "Emily, isn't it impossible to be bored in a city like SF?" That's not what I mean. I love this city. I don't think I could ever grow tired of all there is to see and do. I'm bored because I don't know what I'm suppose to be putting my time and effort towards or trusting God for next.

So, maybe "bored" isn't the right word after all . . . "stuck" might work better (at least for today). I'm waiting for the Lord to direct my steps again and lead me to the next part of this journey. I feel like crying out, "Ok, Lord, I'm here, now what!?" But in the back of my mind, I'm scared of what He might say!

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