And another thing. Love is temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second of every minute of the day. No, don't blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being "in love," which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two.
-- Excerpt from Corelli's Mandolin
A Novel by Louis de Bernieres.
I haven't read the book, but the quote was shared with us during an early-marrieds session at my church. It's a new group of couples that have been married ten years or less. We've been meeting once a month hearing testimonies from other couples who have been married much longer than we have. It has been very interesting -- and helpful.
Last week, they quoted this excerpt from Corelli's Mandolin and it just caught my heart strings a little bit. "We had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two." Isn't that the neatest visual of love? of marriage?
If I could draw, I would sketch this out for you. But I can't draw a stick figure much less a tree. The idea that my husband and I are growing, intertwining, and becoming one as we make the effort to learn about each other, spend time together, and go through the tough stuff together is precious.
Isn't that the point of marriage? To become one. That can't happen overnight. It takes time and even effort. I know there is much more that could be said on the topic of marriage but I really just wanted to share this quote with you, so I'll leave it at that for now.
To love and marriage . . . and inseparable and intertwined trees