Sunday, May 17, 2015

Mother's Day II

Mother's Day was quite uneventful this year, which when reflecting on last year, is probably a good thing.  The day was low key -- Chris made us breakfast and gave me a great card and I went to church alone because William's nap ran late. Chris and William met me after church and we joined some friends for burritos.

That afternoon we drove to Oakland to visit some friends for dinner. They always make such amazing dinners and it was pure coincidence that it happened to be Mother's Day -- but I took it as a gift not to have to cook! We had grilled fish and asparagus. Yum!

And that is about it.

Oh, and William gave me his first real squeeze-my-middle-hug the day before. That hug completely melted my heart.

This year, I have seen my little boy grow and grow-- now walking, and learning words. He's understanding how things work and how to express himself a little better. I love seeing him make these connections. I've caught myself just watching him play, in awe that he is mine. I often search his face, trying to figure out who he is or who he will grow to be, that is my treasure to unwrap as the years go by.

I've also seen my own limitations and weaknesses . . . fleshy, sin make appearances. How quickly I lose my temper or take my work-stress out on him (and vice versa). I've seen how my attitude affects his (and vice versa). I've learned that if I don't get a break from this sweet face once in awhile, I'm not the mother I want to be. And that saddens me--makes me feel like I'm not good enough or cut out for this motherhood role. 

I have realized that on my own strength, I have very little to offer my son. I need to be connected to the well-spring of life. To my Creator God, Savior Jesus, and Holy Spirit. I was reminded this past weekend of the dedication service where they prayed over me specifically. I need to keep being in prayer. It's not a one time thing. Just like motherhood -- it's a lifetime thing.

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